her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
