She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
