Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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