Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The uberlube is also flammable
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
