After last night, I could never be a politician.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
