No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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