so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
