Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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