My friends, they love my intelligence
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
