dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
