We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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