haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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