she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
