idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
