I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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