I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
