I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
