Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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