You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
