38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
