Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
