i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
that is very illegal...i love you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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