Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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