i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
