Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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