at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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