i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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