In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
