who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
