TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i now understand why vodka
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
