i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
