I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
