I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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