Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
