I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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