I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
