If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
