I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
