I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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