Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
