Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
