How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
