hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im drinking this country out of the recession.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
