Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm at about main and main street
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
