first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
