Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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