Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
