He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
