Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
