I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
