grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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